Grief Through Two Lenses: Therapist and Survivor

The weirdest part of grief is how quickly we start judging it. Too much crying means you’re “not coping.” Not enough crying means you “didn’t love them enough.” And if you laugh for a moment, it can feel like betrayal. We sit with all of that honestly and gently, and we name what so many people are afraid to say out loud: grief doesn’t follow a script, and trying to force it into one can make the pain sharper.

I’m joined by Jesse Rafeh, a licensed marriage and family therapist whose life has been shaped by profound loss, including multiple suicides in her family and the recent death of her father. Jesse brings a trauma-informed, emotional regulation focused approach to bereavement that makes room for the full spectrum of reactions, from being unable to get out of bed to functioning “too well” while quietly carrying the weight. We also talk about what it means to feel truly understood, why empathy changes the nervous system, and how rituals, presence, and permission can support long-term grief.

We get practical too: what to do when you feel stuck, how to tell the difference between your inner compass and your survival voice, and why the smallest tool can be the most powerful one, stopping to breathe and asking what you need right now. We also explore humor as release, not avoidance, and why moving forward is not moving away. If you’re searching for grief support, bereaved parent resources, or simple coping with loss practices you can use today, you’ll find real footing here.

If something resonates, share this with someone who needs it, subscribe so you don’t miss the next conversation, and leave a review to help more grieving people find support. What’s one thing you wish others understood about your grief?

Jesse’s website: https://live-better.me/      

Jesse’s Instagram: @jesserafeh